Friday, May 27, 2005

The Resume of Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord,
Savior and Jesus

Hello. My name is Jesus-The Christ. Many call
me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm
seeking the top management position in your heart.
Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in
my resume.

I founded the earth and established the heavens,
(See Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground,
(See Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life,
(See Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law,
(See Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes
upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background
I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or
disrespectful. My employer has nothing but rave
reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include:
empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing
the brokenhearted, setting the captives free,
healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and
setting at liberty them that are bruised,
(See Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6).
People who listen to me shall dwell safely and
shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
Most importantly, I have the authority, ability
and power to cleanse you of your sins,
(See I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length
of knowledge, wisdom and understanding,
(See Proverbs 2:6).
In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom
and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
My Word is so powerful; it has been described
as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto
your path, (See Psalms 119:105). I can even tell
you all of the secrets of your heart,
(See Psalms 44:21).

Major Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest
Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
I laid down my life so that you may live,
(See II Corinthians 5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind
and made a show of them openly,
(See Colossians 2:15).
I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick
and raised the dead! There are many more major
accomplishments, too many to mention here. You
can read them on my website, which is
located at: www dot -- the BIBLE. You don't
need an Internet connection or computer
to access my website.

Believers and followers worldwide will
testify to my divine healings,
salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration
and supernatural guidance

In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident
that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified
to fill this vital position in your heart.
In summation, I will properly direct your paths,
(See Proverbs 3:5-6),
and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47).
When can I start?
Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).

Send this resume to everyone you know, you never
know who may have an opening! Thanks for your help
and may God bless you!


Blogger Darnell Clayton said...

That is pretty funny! Sure beats my resume!

9:15 PM  
Blogger tessie said...

This is an amazing site!

9:28 PM  
Blogger Darnell Clayton said...

Thanks! Praise the LORD too! Borrowed the design from another believer...I hope it honors the Lord. :)

4:49 PM  

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